This coronavirus lockdown thing is still like a bloody rollercoaster isn’t it, just when we think some aspects of life look like they are taking a step nearer normal we are reminded how very far we are from normal in many other aspects. I think we have all spent a good portion of time wishing that 2020 would just leave or that we could hit reset and start the whole year over (what would we do differently if we knew then what we know now?). Passing COVID-19 test sites and advertising hoardings loudly proclaiming “Stay Alert, Control the Virus, Save lives” on my runs is enough to reduce me to tears at the side of the road, blubbing quietly to myself that I have had enough and I would like my life back now please. Invariably I realise that I am actually quite a long way from home and no one is coming to get me so after a brief pity party I wipe away the tears and run back home.
Our lives are affected daily by this once in a generation global pandemic and no doubt we will continue to feel the after effects for many years to come. And yet through it all, no matter how rubbish it has been and continues to be, life goes on, life good and bad still continues outside the rules of a pandemic, lives are shattered by events that are not affected by the virus, the terrible blast in Lebanon for example, people are still victims of brutality and violence and lives are still lost all too soon to illness and incident.
When lockdown started back in March it was really important to me for my kids not to come out the other side thinking this was the worst time of their lives, that we had made the best of it that we could and that as a family we had done our best to embrace this time together and learn from it. I asked the kids what the best thing about lockdown had been for them and they all gave very different replies:
Jack said that whilst home learning had been at times stressful he had really enjoyed the bonding time we had together during homeschooling - a mother can always trust a son to say something nice right! Abigail said she had learned new ways of dealing with difficulties in friendships - she is 14 and girls can be the worst but this time has allowed her space to grow in strength and confidence and she was able to call time on a friendship that was really no longer lifting her up. Ellie’s take was that school uniform was a waste of time - she is bonkers and let’s see how she feels about that in a couple of weeks!
I have learnt a lot over this period - I have learnt just how resilient my kids are, we can chuck all this craziness at them and with love and support and understanding they ping right back up again, their strength and determination never ceases to amaze me. I have learned to lean on my friends a little bit more instead of always trying to be the strong one - you know friends and family are life - and some friends, well they just are family aren’t they? And one thing I have really understood is that none of us give ourselves credit for how tough we really are, I may say I have had enough but always pick myself up, dig deep and move on and isn’t that a great metaphor for life, running everything - no matter how hard it is you can push yourself further and harder.
Before lockdown long runs were really stressful for me and I felt I had lost sight of what I was doing, I feel like the last couple of years has been a whirlwind of travel and training for one marathon after another and the whole thing had become a bit on the stressful side whilst managing three kids, a dog and a full time job. Having the opportunity to run long on a Sunday with my buddy taken away from me during the early days of lockdown felt even harder and so during this time of no racing I have worked really hard to re-connect with my reasons for running, why I started running to begin with and what running means to me - I guess re-connecting with my why. With no racing there is nothing to train for and no pressure to hit every workout and for the first time I have really embraced my pace - honestly on some of these hot August days I am like a hot sweaty turtle but I have returned home with a smile on my face - it feels good to work hard and feel the sun on my face.
It has been a joy to be able to run with my buddy again as lockdown has begun to ease, and I have concentrated on enjoying every single step and every single moment in the sunshine. Last Sunday we run in one of my favourite places to run (needless to say it is as flat as a pancake although the weather system on one side of the park is often completely different to the other side!) for the first time since lockdown and that felt so good. And during that gorgeous sunny run (where I did resemble a sweaty turtle and was perfectly ok with that) we got to talking about how time is so precious and so short and even when it seems so hard there is so much to learn and so much to celebrate.
So let’s not wish it away - this is not forever ..
Much love xxx